


The Cruelest of Fates: Unrequited Love

by Sun_rays



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Eddie Diaz, First Kiss, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hen is the best bro, Hurt Eddie Diaz, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Evan "Buck" Buckley, Kinda fluff, M/M, Mild Eddie/Josh, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Evan "Buck" Buckley, Protective Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25180036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sun_rays/pseuds/Sun_rays
Summary: It’s time. He had waited long enough. Eddie had decided to do the unthinkable and to confess his feelings. Today, he would take a leap of faith and hoped Buck would be there to catch him. Today he would tell Buck he wants more; he would declare his undying love.orEddie tells buck how he feels but Buck is "straight" and oblivious so he rejects Eddie.  Cue Eddie being hurt and finds comfort in Hen.  And other stuff happens that make Buck question how he feels about Eddie.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 241





	1. The Confession

**Author's Note:**

> This is a small series i'll be doing. There are probably mistakes but i really don't wanna check. I should finish this pretty quickly maybe in the next 2 to 5 days. I have a nice outline i'm gonna follow but anything can change.

It’s time. He had waited long enough. Eddie had decided to do the unthinkable and to confess his feelings. Today, he would take a leap of faith and hoped Buck would be there to catch him. Today he would tell Buck he wants more; he would declare his undying love.

+++

Eddie looks at himself in the bathroom mirror. His brow furrowed as he examined his reflection. He had to look perfect today. A sudden surge of bravery had led him to invite Buck over for dinner with Chris and him. 

Of course, this was all a cover for his true intentions which were to finally admit to Buck that he was head over heels helplessly in love with him. Just the thought made his hands clammy and elevated his heartrate. Sure, he could admit that he was kinda good looking, this notion backed by a spontaneous and short-lived modeling career in his late teens and early twenties, but Buck was beautiful inside and out; he deserved only the best. Eddie hoped that he would be enough.

As Eddie continued to scramble with what to wear and how to fix his hair, his process is interrupted by the front door opening. “Buck!!!” An elated Chris is the only confirmation Eddie needs to know that Buck is downstairs. 

_Fuck_ , only Buck would arrive 15 minutes early. Eddie half-hazardly throws on his nicest blue jeans and a snug tee Buck had completed before. 

He runs a hand through his hair and pushes it back. He had grown it out once more after Buck had offhandedly noted that he preferred Eddie’s long hair. Chris had agreed, so now here he was with long brown hair that sometimes wasn’t worth the trouble.

“Hey Eds,” Buck’s voice rang out. “Did you order the pizza, or do you need me to put the order in?” Eddie flew down the stairs and stopped at the sight of Buck. He had on his worn-out blue jeans that hugged his thighs in the best ways. A salmon-colored shirt covered his torso and the sleeves seemed to barely be able to contain his large biceps. He looked amazing as always and the shirt looked nice against his skin and made his pink full lips look more captivating. 

As always, he sported a mesmerizing smile that never failed to make Eddie weak in the knees. But above everything, his blue eyes were sparkling. They always looked otherworldly almost ethereal in their beauty. 

“Earth to Eddie, you with me.” Buck made his way over with a look of concern. “You’re not getting sick, are you?” Before Eddie could respond, Buck laid a hand on his forehead checking his temperature. “No fever.” 

Typical Buck to go into caring mode without a second thought; A quality Eddie admired. He always put everyone before himself. There was no one, besides maybe Chris, who had a heart as big as Bucks’. 

“I’m fine Buck. And pizza is on its way and should be here in 20.” 

Buck hesitated for a minute; he could tell something was up. “Okay, if you say so,” he relented. 

Eddie signed with relief. 

It was almost scary how much Buck knew him so well and could immediately tell when something was bothering him. In the past years, it was like a dance they were playing. Eddie would push and Buck would push back. The scales would tip one day, and Eddie hoped that today they would be in his favor.

+++

The rest of the evening went mostly smoothly. Although Eddie’s nerves only increased as the day went on. The looming conversation that would happen as soon as Christopher feel asleep lurked in the back of his mind, ever-present. 

After a few rounds of Mario cart eventually, Christopher clicked through Disney plus in search of a movie. 

After a couple minutes of searching and debating on whether to watch Moana for the 100th time or Coco, he finally settled on Coco. Eddie had no choice but to smile and approve. He liked that Chris was beginning to take an interest in their roots. Although he didn’t celebrate every Mexican holiday, he wanted to attempt to do so in the future so that Chris might grow up with a strong cultural passion.

The tension was still present. As the movie went on and the more tired Chris became, the more anxious Eddie became. 

Eventually, Chris slumped weightless against Buck’s side having been thoroughly defeated by the events of today and promises of French toast in the morning. 

Eddie contemplated his choices. He had to decide now what to do. There was still time to back out. But he felt like he owed it to himself to seek happiness. The many sessions with frank had taught him to put words to his feelings. 

He had learned that it wasn’t healthy to repress everything and hold it in. He had seen firsthand that holding everything in until it was whistling like a tea kettle only ended badly. Plus, he could see the future he could have. If Buck felt the same, and he was almost sure he did, then not only would he be happy, but Chris would be over the moon. Chris loved Buck probably more than he did and he reasoned that is this was a chance to bring in Buck permanently than it was worth the risk. This had the potential to implode their friendship but everyone around seems so confident Buck felt the same way he did. The 118 constantly called them a married couple and even Maddie would call Eddie Buck’s boyfriend every now and then.

Eddie steeled his nerves and reached over to gently maneuver Chris away from Buck and into his arms. 

He watched in awe as Buck rose to his feet and placed a gentle kiss to Christopher’s messy brown hair. “Goodnight Chris,” he whispered. _Yeah_ , Eddie thought, this was definitely worth the risk. 

Moments like this deserved to exist.

After putting Chris to bed, Eddie made his way down the stairs. He wasn’t surprised to see a different movie queued up and a beer waiting for him. Buck could always tell what he needed even when he didn’t know himself. “Thanks,” he smiled at Buck and took the beer. He let himself sink into the couch and welcomed the light buzz from the beer. 

A quarter of the way into the movie, Buck paused it and turned to look at Eddie. He studied him for a while then let out a huff of air. “So…you gonna tell me why you’re on edge? Or am I gonna have to fish it outta ya.” Eddie gulped and shook his head. 

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I guess I’ve too scared to say it.” Without hesitation, Buck took Eddie’s hand and held it tight. 

“You can tell me anything Eds.” 

It was hard not to believe him when his eyes shone with such passion and determination. 

“I…I like you. No, I love you, Buck.” At that Buck simply smiled and let a small laugh escape. “I love you too Eds. You’re the best friend a guy could ask for.” Eddie paused. 

This wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for but maybe he just needed to be clearer. 

“NO Buck, you don’t get it.” 

Buck tilted his head in confusion. 

“I’m IN LOVE with you. 

Like in a romantic way.” Buck stood completely still. He was shocked. He never really thought about Eddie in that way. As far as he was concerned, they were best friends. 

Seemingly caught in the moment and with a last bit of bravery, Eddie closed his eyes and leaned in. 

Every part of him prayed that Buck would meet him halfway, but instead to strong arms held him at arm’s length.

“I’m really sorry Eddie, but I don’t see you in that way.” _No way_ , Eddie thought. He was so sure this would be the part where Buck would kiss him back and then they’d go on their merry way. He knew rejection was a possibility, but to be confronted by it was totally different.

“Don’t get me wrong Eds,” Buck continued trying to soften the blow. “I love you Eddie but in a friend way. Totally platonic.” He tried his best to give Eddie a reassuring smile, but he could see the unshed tears forming in his friend’s eyes.

“Oh…That’s okay Buck. I understand.” 

Eddie quickly rose to his feet and stepped away. He turned his body away from Buck and tried his best to blink away the tears. He cleared his throat and fled to the kitchen.

“I think it’s best if I go Eddie.” Hearing no answer from Eddie, he made his way towards the kitchen. 

“Eddie, are y-.”

“I’m fine,” Eddie interrupted. He wiped away the tears and swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’ll be fine Buck. This doesn’t have to change anything.” He let out an empty laugh in hopes of convincing Buck to go. 

He felt embarrassed enough. He didn’t want Buck to see him breakdown.

Buck hesitated before finally realizing it was best to call it a night. “Alright. Call me if you need anything… And I really am sorry Eddie.”

Eddie heard the door close but waited until he could hear Buck’s jeep leave the driveway to check the locks and then climb upstairs.

He kicked off his pants and tossed his shirt aside. Burrowing under the covers, he grabbed a pillow next and stifled a sob into it. 

He couldn’t believe what had just happened. How could he be so stupid to think he had a chance with Buck. For god’s sake, he didn’t even know if he liked guys. He hated everything and everyone that led him to believe that something could happen between them. He hated the 118 for filling his head with empty hopes and promises, but above all else, he hated that he had let himself succumb to his feelings. 

Things were bound to change now. 

Chris was gonna be affected by this and he hated that he put him in that position. Knowing his record, it was only a matter of time before Buck left too. 

Shannon had left twice; he wasn’t enough for her. And now because he couldn’t control the way he felt, Buck would be running for the hills as well. 

This was a mistake. 

He never should have pushed. 


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck thinks about the events of last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing is harder than i thought, but kinda fun. I should have the next Chapter up within 24 hrs. All i gotta say is that AP English and Honors Eng classes in College did not help at all. I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors.

The events of last rushed into Buck's mind as he laid in bed consumed by a restless buzz. He tossed and turned and willed the memories away so that he might have some peace. But the words continued to echo in his mind. Each one sending him into a haze of confusion. 

Eddie was in love with him. 

The world was no longer spinning; it must’ve tilted somewhere along its course and changed everything in its wake. 

He took a second to stop fighting the unnerving energy and looked at his ceiling. He needed to reflect on everything that came before Eddie’s confession and wonder about what came after. Was he partially to blame for what occurred? Did he lead Eddie on? The questions popped up one by one. 

“Awgh” he grunted with frustration. This was too much. A part of him hated Eddie for feeling this way. Now things were bound to different. He would’ve loved to be able to reach over and feel the same, but unfortunately, he didn’t. 

He wasn’t going to lie to Eddie about something this important. He genuinely loved and cared about Eddie and wanted only the best for him. He didn’t need a pity kiss or relationship.

Buck reached for his phone. 

Hopefully, it was almost time for his shift, and so he could escape for a few hours. Eddie would be there but Buck was confident that even in this messy situation, he wouldn’t be anything but professional. 

The glowing 5:00AM illuminated his face. _Close enough_. His legs felt heavy as he pulled himself out of bed and headed towards the bathroom.

One thing that was still shocking was that Eddie wasn’t straight. Since apparently, he was in love with Buck. Maybe if he knew beforehand that Eddie could feel this way, he might have held back on the affection to prevent something like this. As far as Buck was concerned, he was straight, but he wondered what made Eddie think he wasn’t. Eddie knew about Abby, Ali, and his other female ‘conquests’ as Buck 1.0. 

The 118 liked to joke that they were like work husbands but that was just locker room talk; it was baseless. 

But thinking back, perhaps that’s where the problem was. He should’ve stopped the teasing. It seemed lighthearted and fun but this, the way he felt, and the way Eddie must be feeling was miserable. 

God, what would the 118 think. Hen, Chim, and Bobby were observant people. They would definitely know that something was up with Eddie and Buck. He felt bad, but he wished this shift would be busy. That way no one would notice anything, and Buck could just forget about everything.

+++

Buck arrived at the station 45 minutes early. His shift wasn’t until 8:00AM, but he had nothing better to do. 

The crew from the night shift and Bobby were all there. Bobby always made sure to get there early to prepare breakfast for everyone. With time to kill, Buck makes himself useful by helping prepare the food. Pretty soon, the rest of the crew would wander in. Eddie would be coming in soon. The dread in his stomach made the smells in the kitchen turn sour.

30 minutes later, two voices made their way up the station stairs and into the kitchen. Relief filled Buck as Hen and Chim took their seats at the table too caught up in their own conversation to notice how antsy Buck was. The only one left was Eddie.

As if on cue a tired Eddie emerged. The first thing Buck noticed was the red-rimmed eyes and the dark undereye bags. He looked pale and sad. His shoulders were slightly slumped, and his head mostly downcast. 

Buck stared longer than he meant to but a part of him wanted to desperately run to his side and comfort him. It was a horrible feeling knowing that he was the cause of the pain.

Eddie wouldn’t meet his eyes as he rounded the table and took a seat furthest from his and Buck’s usual spot. 

Hen and Chim immediately took notice of this and stopped their conversation to look at Eddie. There was no hiding that he wasn’t feeling well and judging from the concerned looks on his teammate’s faces; they knew something was up. Their next action was to look to Buck for answers, but he quickly averted their gaze and fled back into the kitchen. 

30 minutes in and already things weren’t looking up. Buck desperately hoped they wouldn’t question him. He didn’t want to have to lie, but he wouldn’t expose Eddie.

Once everyone was seated and the food was served, the awkwardness came. Buck had to admit that it was odd not having Eddie at his side. Even though he was a few seats down, he felt like he was missing something. The rest of the team tried their best to comfort Eddie by engaging in conversation but were met with forced smiles and sad eyes.

To every question, Eddie replied with an “I’m fine.” He refused to elaborate, and Buck was a little thankful. Before the team could continue their probing, the alarm began to ring saving both him and Eddie from any further questions.

+++

A week went by and everything was still tense. Buck felt like he had made no headway in returning things back to normal. He felt ok for the most part except that every time he looked at Eddie, he was filled with so much guilt. Eddie was still going through it. Buck figured in a weeks’ time, Eddie would be feeling better and they could have another conversation. However, it seemed that Eddie wasn’t ready to talk. 

As soon as Buck approached Eddie to start a conversation he was met with silence or Eddie would avoid him altogether. It was so frustrating. Every attempt at a resolution was promptly turned away. Eddie’s words continued to plague him. Eddie had said things didn’t have to change but how could things go back to normal when he refused to even talk to him. 

And things weren’t any better with the rest of the team. Eddie barely spoke to them anymore, preferring to keep to himself. 

Bobby looked like he was on the verge of saying something, but no matter his emotions or personal issue, Eddie made sure it didn’t affect his work. As soon as it did, Bobby resolved himself to take action and uncover the truth behind his new behavior.

The teasing didn’t stop though. Chim and Hen would occasionally make a joke about “trouble in paradise” when Eddie made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to speak with Buck. And each time a joke was made, Eddie would become rigid and more withdrawn. These jokes weren’t doing him any good, so Buck figured he needed to put an end them. He wanted to set them straight but wasn’t sure how to go about it without explaining what had happened. Since it was beginning to affect everyone’s mood, Buck knew they needed to come clean. He just needed Eddie’s approval to tell the team what had happened and why they needed to back off.

After a particularly dirty call, where everyone was covered in mud from head to toe, Buck cornered Eddie in the locker room.

Eddie had just stepped out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his lower half when Buck closed the doors around them. His face was covered in a bright red flush from the hot shower. But Buck was only concerned with the panic in Eddie’s eyes.

Once Eddie realized what was going on, it was like his body suddenly went into flight or fight mood. 

He looked both ready to run or force his way out.

“Eddie, please,” Buck begged him to listen while he cautiously approaching. “Just listen, you don’t even have to speak.” Hearing Buck’s words, Eddie reluctantly sat down on the nearest bench but refused to look at him.

“This,” Buck motioned to both of them, “is starting to affect the team. I think we need to tell them. We won’t be able to work together if every time someone teases us, you freak out.” Eddie stayed silent and continued staring at the wall in front of him. Buck took it as a good sign; it was the most progress he had made in eliciting a conversation from him. “Is that okay Eddie? Or not? Just give me a nod if you don’t wanna speak.”

It was almost as if Eddie was afraid to speak. Buck noticed how he opened his mouth about to speak but the words never made it out. Eddie wasn’t a weak man, but the internal turmoil was more than he could take. Buck wanted this to pass so that he could once again help his best friend. He didn’t like being at odds with the older man.

It was silent as Eddie tried to find the words to speak. Then finally in a quiet whisper barely audible, a resigned “Okay” emerged. 

“Alright,” Buck answered, but there was so much he wanted to say and so much he wished he could do. But he knew Eddie wasn’t ready to hear him out just yet. 

He turned to leave but stopped as soon as he heard Eddie speak.

“Buck,” Eddie called out in a small raspy voice. He hesitated before continuing, “I know I’m being difficult, but I just need time.” He shot Buck one glance and met his eyes. 

Buck felt overwhelmed with the amount of emotion in Eddie’s eyes. They told stories of what the past week must have felt like. He really wished he knew if Eddie had someone else who was helping him through this. As much as he wanted to be that person, he knew it would only result in more pain for Eddie.

“I think everyone is still here,” Eddie spoke as he threw on some clothes. Buck made sure to avert his eyes, he didn’t want to make Eddie more uncomfortable. “Just wait until I’m gone.” With that, He quickly grabbed his duffel bag and made his way out.

“Eddie!” Buck called after him. Eddie froze in place, his back still towards Buck. “Do you think we’ll be okay.” Buck waited with anticipation, he had to know if there was any hope of them ever going back to how things were. _Turn around_. If Eddie turned if he even looked back, then Buck would know from one glance how he felt. He would know if things could be salvaged, but Eddie didn’t look back. He remained still and then hesitantly took a few steps forward before leaving Buck behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck tells the team about what happened between him and Eddie. Also, Hen tries to help Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at dialogue, so please don't judge too harshly. Also, next couple chapters might take longer. I have a test coming up and my overachieving ass refuses to get anything below an A.

With Eddie no longer at the station, Buck made his way to the eating area where the rest of the team were enjoying a late dinner. Having received Eddie’s approval, he was gonna clear the air a bit. He just hoped that the team understood that just like Eddie couldn’t help how he felt, he couldn’t either. It was a shitty situation to be in and he didn’t want judgment. 

Support is what he needed.

“Where’s Eddie?” Bobby asked while setting a plate of food down for Buck. Bobby was observant as ever; it took him less than a minute to realize Eddie wasn’t coming to dinner and now he had a certain look on his face. Like if he already knew that Buck had something say. 

Buck shrugged in response. 

“Sit down son. Whatever you have to say can wait until after dinner.” At Booby’s words, Buck took a seat. He ate slowly, lulling over what he wanted to say and how to say it.

After Dinner, Chim was the first to break the silence. “This about the lover’s quarrel?” He asked leaning back in his chair with a smug face.

“Don’t,” Buck lashed out. A little harsher than he meant to, but he was over it. “Okay, sorry,” Chim said raising both arms in surrender. “Hey, cool it, Buck,” Hen spoke taking the seat next to him. “You know we’re just playing.”

“That’s just it,” Buck huffed. “It’s not a joke.”

“What’s this about, Buck,” Bobby said while coming around Buck to place a hand on his shoulder for support. “Whatever’s bothering you, just say it. It’ll be alright.” 

“Eddie’s in love with me. He told me last week.” Buck looked around and could see the shock in their faces. 

They weren’t expecting this, and Buck had to agree. When Eddie told him, he wasn’t expecting it either.

Hen then nodded in understanding. “And you don’t feel the same?” she asked but it seemed more like a statement.

“No…” Buck murmured. 

“I mean, I love Eddie. He’s my best friend. I just… don’t love him in the way he wants.” He inhaled sharply and let it out. “Now, he won’t even talk to me. And I can’t help but wonder if he’s okay. Jesus Christ, he won't even look at me.”

Hen reached over and took Buck’s hands. She could tell he felt guilty. It was weighing heavily on him. His big heart would never intentionally hurt anyone, especially Eddie. “He just needs time, Buck. You gotta understand that he put himself out there. And you know him better than anyone. It takes a lot for him to let anyone in.”

“I know, Hen. I don’t wanna lose him or Chris over this.” Buck could feel tears pooling in his eyes. Over the past years knowing Eddie, the best part had to be Chris. The kid was so smart and kind. He couldn’t bear to lose either of them. They were the closest thing to a real family he had.

“You’re not gonna lose anyone,” Chim chimed in. “Eddie’s a smart guy. He won’t hold this over you.” Chim moved in closer to try to get his point across. “He knows Chris loves you. He wouldn’t take that away from you or him.”

“Chim and Hen are right. He’s going to need time to see clearly but he’ll come around.” Before Buck knew what going on, Bobby pulled him out of his chair and into a warm embrace.

“Group Hug!!” Chim laughed out while throwing himself onto Bobby and Buck.

The team burst into laughter and Buck felt lighter than he had all week. He wasn’t sure how everything was going to go from here, but at least he still had his team.

Everyone cleared out, but Hen stayed behind eyeing Buck.

“What’s up Hen?” Buck asked. 

He was a little confused about why she had stayed back. Usually, around this time, she would be flying home to be with her family.

“I know that no matter what we tell you, you’ll still be worried about whether Eddie is doing ok. And you’re right. Knowing him, he’ll try to handle everything himself. So, I’ll give him a hand.”

“Hen you don’t have t-.”

“Nope,” Hen interjected. 

“I’m doing this because without you I just know he’s gonna suffer in silence. I might not know him as much as you do, Buck, but I’m still his friend. And just like you, he’s gonna need someone in his corner.”

“Thanks, Hen.” Buck wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. It was reassuring to know Hen would be there for Eddie in his stead.

“I got this, Buck.” She placed a gentle kiss to his temple and left.

+++

It was late in the afternoon when Eddie finally got home. The whole drive over, he couldn’t forget what was happening at the station. Buck was telling the team why he was acting so differently. He knew they would take the news well, but in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but think of the worst. The worst being complete anger from the team at him having changed the team dynamics or anger at having put Buck in a difficult situation.

Unfortunately, tonight, Christopher was staying with Abuela, so he was going to be home alone with his thoughts. And to top it all off he was starving. At times like this, he really wished Buck were there. He would whip up a five-course meal in an instant. The thought of having to cook for himself felt draining tonight. 

He just wanted to sleep and forget.

Eddie tiredly threw on a hoodie and comfortable sweatpants. He took a moment to look in the mirror. _I look like shit_. His eyes were still red and the dark circles around his eyes were looking more and more prominent with every passing day. His hair was longer and still a little wet from earlier, but it looked like a bird’s nest. 

_Whatever_. He didn’t really care. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone, at least not anymore.

Eddie made his way back into the kitchen, resigning himself to a quick coffee and whatever would take the least amount of time to prepare. All of a sudden, a knock came from the front door. 

He wasn’t expecting anyone. 

He quickly checked his phone, but no missed calls. He walked to the door and peered through the peephole. Standing there, hands on her hips, was Hen. He really didn’t want to be judged, so he figured that if he didn’t answer, she’d eventually leave. 

“Open up Diaz!!! I’m not leaving until we talk.” _Fuck_ , Hen was stubborn there was no way she would be leaving until she got at least a few words in. Eddie leaned his head against the wooden door and prepared for whatever was coming next. 

He opened the door not really knowing what she was going to say but was relieved to see a sympathetic smile.

“You broke rule number one, Eddie.” Her tone was gentle. It reminded him of how his mother used to speak to him after he would hurt himself playing too rough. The wall he had built to keep everything together was already crumbling and Hen’s words only broke it more.

“I really fucked up, huh?” 

A trail of tears slowly ran down his face.

“Oh, Eddie,” She reached forward and bought him in close to her chest. She felt his body tremble as a quiet sob moved through his body. 

“C’mon, let's sit down and talk,” she said guiding him back into the house.

Hen sat down on the couch while Eddie fled to the kitchen to bring them some coffee and recollect himself. 

A moment later, he emerged with two cups of hot coffee. He took a seat across Hen and quietly sipped the hot beverage. They sat in silence until Hen finally spoke.

“You said you loved him, right?”

Eddie nodded.

“So, tell me. Tell me what makes Buck so special.”

“I think it’d be easier to say what I don’t like,” He shook his head and smiled just thinking about all the best things about Buck. In truth, Eddie could go on and on about Buck. He could spend hours describing how beautiful he thought his eyes were. And his smile. It was radiant. Every time Eddie felt tired or sad, one smile was all it took to make his day better. But what he loved most about Buck was how devoted he was to Christopher. He loved Chris as if he were his. He also never pitied the kid, but instead inspired him to push beyond his limits. 

“You know Buck. You can’t blame me for falling for someone like that. I still don’t understand why Abby and Ali chose to give that up. If I had him. I would never let go.” Eddie frowned at the thought of Buck’s exes. 

They didn’t know how lucky they were. 

And Eddie would give up almost anything to just be able to feel what it was like to kiss him. He’d dreamed of those lips so many times. 

Noticing Eddie’s frown, Hen knew this was heading in a bad direction if she let Eddie dwell on Buck’s failed relationships. “Keep going Eddie,” she insisted.

“You’ve seen his smile. Hen, I swear, sometimes it takes my breath away.” He chuckled, and Hen noticed how Eddie’s eyes lit up just talking about Buck.

“He’s like a freaking star or moon. No, the whole Fucking galaxy. He’s just everything I didn’t know I needed until I met him.”

Eddie stopped and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “I really thought he felt the same way,” he stammered. “Now, I just feel so stupid. I feel like I ruined everything.”

“Eddie, we don’t choose who we fall in love with. You can’t help how you feel.”

“I know that. I keep telling myself that, but-.”

“But nothing. What you did was brave. I know you’re the type of person that hides from their feelings, but you chose to accept those feelings and made a decision to pursue happiness. And I know this wasn’t an easy thing. After Shannon, you haven’t let anyone else in and you took a risk in letting Buck in. 

I know he hurt you by not feeling the same way, but he also can’t help how he feels. But we both know he deserves better than you pushing him away.”

“I don’t blame him for any of this. I could never blame him. And I know I’m hurting him by being distant, but it just hurts to be around him. I thought keeping my distance from him would help it hurt less, but it’s been a week and I feel worse.”

“Eddie,” Hen rose to her feet and sat down beside Eddie and gently grabbed his shoulder. “The only way to get past this is through. You have to push past the pain and hurt, cause running won’t help. Hey,” She squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll be here every step of the way. The whole team will. And when you’re up for it, Buck will be too.”

Eddie leaned forwards and brought her into a tight hug. “Thanks, Hen.”

“Any time, Eddie.”

As they separated, Eddie expected Hen to make her exit but was surprised to see her heading towards the kitchen. 

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked as he watched her rummage through the cabinets pulling out various ingredients.

“What's it look like, I’m cooking.” She answered with a bit of sass in her voice.

“I thought you ate at the station.”

“I did, but you didn’t. 

And it’s hard to feel down with good food and a full stomach.”

Eddie leaned against the counter and watched her work. Soon, mouthwatering smells filled the room and he felt better than he had all week.

+++

Eddie didn’t work again until 3 days later, and he had resolved himself to making an attempt at fixing things between him and Buck. He wanted his best friend back, and he felt like he had sulked long enough.

His shift began at 8:00AM but he was running late. That morning, Christopher had woken up grumpy, and getting ready for school took longer than expected. Also, in his haste, he forgot to grab breakfast. He always made sure to feed Chris but sometimes he forgot about himself. 

Bobby always had breakfast ready, but an early call would leave him hungry until later. 

Once at the station, Eddie quickly threw his things in his locker but took a second to glance at his reflection. The days off had done him well. He looked well-rested and felt better too. 

His stomach rumbled in defiance and he took that as his cue to try and catch whatever remained of breakfast. As he made his way to the eating area, he looked at the table. Like always, Hen and Chim were next to each other while Bobby sat at the head of the table. And next to Buck was an empty seat that was usually reserved for Eddie. 

Eddie took notice of how Buck’s shoulders looked a bit slumped. He felt a wave of guilt. He shook it off approached the table. The team glanced his way but remained focused on their conversations.

Like Hen had said, the only to move on was to push through, so he reached the empty seat next to Buck and sat. He could practically see the nervous energy emanating from Buck.

“Buck, can you pass the bacon.”

Buck jumped at the sound of Eddie’s voice and quickly scrambled for the bacon. Eddie couldn’t help but smile at his antics.

Wordlessly, Buck passed over the food with a small smile.

“Thanks, Buck.”

The simple response was all Buck needed to broadcast his signature Buckley smile.

“No problem, Eddie.”

It still hurt to look at Buck. The events were still fresh in his mind, but he knew it would continue to hurt for a while. 

And Eventually, Eddie would move on. 

Until then, however, Eddie was determined to persevere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rule #1: Don't fall for the straights


	4. Time heals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris leaves to go to summer camp and Buck invites Eddie to a team outing. While at the bar, Buck feels different around Eddie, and Maddie had some news to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one might be a little rough. So sorry it took me a few days to get this out. I was busier than i thought and a bit of writers block hit. Next chapter should be put soon.

A month passes by without Eddie really realizing it. He’s too focused on trying to make amends and get over his feelings. It’s hard trying to be a good friend while wanting more, but Buck’s worth the trouble. 

They spend more time together. Not as much as they used to, but they’re getting there. And Chris is thrilled to see Buck come around. During the first week of this whole mess, Eddie could tell how much the boy missed Buck but kept quiet since he knew it upset his dad; it always amazed Eddie how empathetic his son could be. 

Each time Buck announces his presence at the Diaz residence in his own comical exuberance, Eddie’s heart swoons. It’s moved by a longing for unattainable love. He knows better now but that knowledge does little to quell the warmth building in his heart at the sight of Buck and Chris together. 

Eddie both loathes and welcomes moments of domesticity between Buck and his son. In these instances, he lets his mind wander and to be filled with copious imaginings of perpetual bliss. He imagines a world where he has it all. A world where Buck is by his side hand in hand and completely enamored, and he imagines how happy Chris would be. Eddie embraces his imagination, lets the feelings envelop him and consume his body and mind with illusions of grandeur; He processes each one and files them into his memory before pushing through and stepping back into reality.

Today is reminiscent of the days before Eddie told Buck how he felt or rather still feels. The trio sits on the couch winding down from a filling dinner of pizza and video games. On-screen is the classic _Treasure Planet_ picked by Chris at Buck’s insistent recommendation. Chris is the only thing separating Eddie from Bucks warmth as they watch the movie. 

Eddie tries to focus on the flashing screen in front of him, but a gnawing sensation demands his attention. 

Chris leaves tomorrow for Summer Camp, and Eddie is both proud and worried out of his mind, but Buck’s presence eases the tension. He couldn’t imagine going through this alone. 

So, he decides not to. Eddie invites Buck to see Chris off as a sort of olive branch. It’s a statement that speaks peace between them. It’s Eddie’s way of promising Buck that he’s a part of Christopher’s life and even through rough patches, he has a place in their lives. And of course, Buck readily agrees while smiling from ear to ear.

+++

“Chris,” Eddie calls. 

“Did you remember to pack your extra set of clothes? What about your shoes? Which pair are you taking?”

Buck watches as Eddie paces back and forth. He’s been at it for the past hour since Buck arrived at the Diaz house. Eddie looks about ready to jump out of his skin. “Eddie, calm down. Relax. He’s ready and you worrying is only stressing everyone out.”

Eddie stops pacing takes a deep breath and settles on the couch, but his feet begin tapping against the ground. Buck’s honestly impressed Eddie had made it this far. It was a complete surprise to hear Eddie allowing Chris to leave for 2 weeks for summer camp. Eddie by heart is a worrywart and dotes constantly on Chris, and for him to agree to be Chris-free for 2 weeks speaks volumes on how great a parent he is. 

Buck always imagined what it would be like to have good caring parents, and now he doesn’t have to imagine when he has Eddie; He is the epitome of selfless and is willing to do anything for this son. And Buck is happy to be a part of that.

A few minutes later, Chris emerges full of excitement, and a blinding smile plastered on his face. Buck and Eddie work together to pack everything up and then set course for Christopher’s school. The whole ride over, Chris rambles about all the great things he’s going to do at summer camp. With each passing moment, he’s filled more anticipation.

Once at the school, while surrounded by other parents, Eddie and Buck way their goodbyes. They wave as Chris presses against the window of the school bus. He waves back frantically and then the bus engine begins to rumble and he’s off on his first big solo adventure.

Buck looks over at Eddie who is looking down at a card Chris put in his hands before boarding the bus. 

A smile breaks across Eddie’s face, and Buck knows he’ll be all right. Eddie must notice Buck trying to stealthy crane his neck over to read the letter, because, in the next moment, Eddie playfully pushes him away.

“What’s it say?” Buck asks while trying to regain his balance.

“You’re going to have a great time. Love, Chris.” Eddie reads off the card and smiles to himself.

“Well, speaking of great times, how about we go have a drink tonight?”

Buck watches Eddie as he works the question in his head. The past month, they’ve made good progress and he feels that it's about time they start hanging out again.

“C’mon Eddie,” Buck playfully pleas. “The whole team is gonna be there. It’ll be fun.”

Eddie is quiet, but Buck knows how to read him. He just needs one final push and he’s sure Eddie will agree.

“Oh, and Maddie has some big news to share. I was told to bring you, and you know Maddie will hold it over me if I can’t get you to come.” Now for the secret weapon. Buck unleashes his best puppy-dog eyes. He knows Eddie is weak to both him and Chris when they use puppy-dog eyes against him.

“Pleaaaasssee, Eddddieeee.”

“Fine, but you have to buy the first round.”

“Haha, Yes!!!” Buck jumps and fist pumps the air. Tonight is going to a goodnight, and Buck can’t wait.

“I’ll text you the info, Eds. I promise you; it’ll be fun.”

Eddie only grunts in response, but Buck sees the small smile he’s trying to hide.

+++

Buck steps into the bar and absorbs the atmosphere. Dimmed lights cast hard shadows across the room. There’s a distant sound of music playing softly in the background. The bar looks more like a restaurant, but in the very back, a few couples sway softly to the smooth music. Overall, it’s a pleasant relaxed feeling. 

Buck looks around and spots Maddie, Chim, Hen, Bobby, and Athena bunched together in a booth near the middle of the bar. Maddie immediately waves Buck over as soon as she sees him. Buck can’t help the grin that takes over his face at the sight of his favorite people all in one spot. As he approaches, he notices a man engrossed in a conversation with Maddie. He has dark hair and is dramatically waving his arms in the air while Maddie struggles to hold in a wave of laughter. 

“BUCK!!!” Maddie shouts. 

“You made it.”

She looks happy and carefree. It fills Buck with happiness to see her letting loose. After everything with Doug, he was worried she’d be in a rough place, but Chim seems to have everything under control.

“Yup, I’m here.” Buck looks around but he can’t find Eddie. He said he was on his way, but he’s nowhere to be seen. “Is Eddie here yet?” Buck asks while checking his phone to make sure he didn’t back out.

“Don’t worry about it, Buck. He said he’d be here.”

She pauses and takes a look at the man next to her. He in turn wiggles his eyebrows at her and spares a glance at Buck. But he’s too preoccupied staring at his phone to notice.

“Oh,” realization hits her. 

She hasn’t introduced Buck to her friend.

“Buck, this is Josh. We work together.”

Buck looks up from his phone and finally puts a name to the man next to his sister. She’d told him about a Josh, but they’d never officially met.

“Hey, I’m Buck. Nice to meet you.” He reaches over and shakes Josh’s hand.

“Good to finally meet you, Buck. Maddie talks about you all the time.”

“Yeah,” Buck shrugs, “I’m pretty great.” Maddie scowls at his joke, but Josh laughs it off.

“Take a seat, Buck. Eddie will show up eventually.”

Buck hesitates before taking a seat at the end of the booth. He tries to make room for Eddie, but Hen refuses to move and only pushes him back when he nudges her over. Before he can continue to push, he looks at the door. 

From where he’s sitting, he can see who comes in or out. And currently, he notices a familiar shape making his way inside.

Buck sees Eddie before he sees him, and takes a moment to take him in. He looks different than this morning. His hair is pushed back and styled in a similar fashion to when they first met. Buck’s eyes go lower to the black collared shirt he’s wearing. A few of the buttons are undone leaving a flash of tan skin exposed. His biceps look bigger than normal straining against rolled-up sleeves.

As Eddie gets closer, Buck momentarily loses thought to focus on Eddie’s pants. They’re dark blue and tight, _very tight_. His thighs look bulky and thick like they might tear the fabric. 

He looks good, and the thought ignites a warm tickling sensation in Buck’s chest. It spreads down his arms and legs, and suddenly his hands feel clammy. His heart hammers against his chest, and his eyes refuse to look away.

“Sorry I’m late, I got stuck in traffic,” Eddie announces and looks around for a seat.

Buck feels his mouth go dry and words are too hard to form. 

“Uuuhhh,” he sputters out.

“You alright, Buck?” Eddie questions and moves in closer.

From this distance, Buck can smell Eddie’s cologne. It’s a woodsy aroma mixed with a familiar scent that just screams Eddie. It’s overwhelmingly good. 

“Buck?”

“You can sit here,” Josh pipes in before Buck can gather his thoughts. He motions to the empty space next to him.

“Thanks, man. I’m Eddie.”

“I’m Josh.”

While they introduce themselves, Bucks takes a moment to focus. It’s probably all nerves. Right? He’s never felt like this before, but as he looks at Eddie smiling, he feels a wave of anxiety. He chalks it up to nerves and ignores the feeling.

As the night progresses, the feeling in Buck’s chest only grows. He feels so nervous and he can’t figure out why. And his eyes keep tracking Eddie’s movement. There’s just something different about Eddie tonight but he doesn’t know what.

Eddie’s too focused in a playful conversation with Josh to notice Buck staring, but every now and then he looks over and smiles at him. Eddie has a nice smile and he wonders why he’s just now realizing it. His eyes crinkle at Josh’s jokes and he throws his head back as a booming laugh erupts from his chest.

Even stranger, Buck notices how every time Eddie takes a swig of beer, his lips become a little redder. 

They swell at the pressure of the bottle, and he becomes enraptured every time Eddie’s tongue licks away the excess beer on his lips.

He also notices how close Eddie’s sitting next to Josh. Everyone is engrossed in their own conversations, but Eddie and Josh are trapped in their own bubble. The small booth has everyone sitting close and they’re no exception. Josh is leaning close to Eddie and looking up at him with a shy smile. Eddie doesn’t move away. Instead, he stares back with an equally shy smile. Even in the dim lighting, Buck can see a slight blush on Eddie’s cheeks. 

The sight makes Buck’s stomach turn. He’s not sure why but looking at them together doesn’t feel right. From what Maddie has told him, Josh is a great guy, however, every instinct in his body is telling him to interfere. He wants to get up and reach across the table and drag Eddie away. 

Before he can further think about what he’s feeling, Maddie clears her throat loudly to gain everyone’s attention.

“Okay, everyone. Chim and I have some BIG news.” She’s smiling from ear to ear, and Chim is plastered to her side with a proud grin.

“YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED?” Hen shouts out before anyone can say anything else.

Buck’s jaw drops. No way Chim and Maddie are getting married. 

Sure, they were doing well, but it might be too soon. Plus, he knows Maddie still has a few things to work through.

“No, but good guess,” Maddie says, and Buck lets out a sigh of relief. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Chim, it just that he worries about Maddie.

“We’re…” She lets the anticipation build and watches as everyone leans in close to hear the BIG news.

“Having a baby,” she finishes. 

Everyone is quiet for a moment trying to make sense of what just happened. Maddie’s Pregnant. Chim is going to be a dad. Buck is going to be an uncle. _I’m going to be an uncle._ The realization hits and Buck feels elated. He never thought it’d happen so soon, but here Maddie is, pregnant. He doesn’t know what to do as a rush of adrenaline courses through his body. 

He’s up on his feet before he knows it reaching for Maddie. She doesn’t fight it as Buck engulfs her into a hug and peppers her cheek with kisses. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Buck whispers in her ear.

He can feel a few tears trail down Maddie’s cheek and she holds him tighter.

“Thanks, Buck,” she whispers back in a broken voice.

Buck finally lets her go and returns to his seat as everyone congratulates the couple. Eddie shoots him a smile and mouths “Congrats Buck.” 

Of course, Eddie would know that this is a moment Buck was looking forward too. He always imagined what it would be like to be the cool uncle, and while being friends with Eddie and Chris gave him a semblance of what it would be like, this feeling is different than the one he has when he’s with them. 

As he looks at Eddie, Buck realizes that he and Josh are still sitting close, but he can’t begin to care anymore, because his sister is having a baby and he can worry about his own feelings another time. Right now, all he wants is to be part of his sister’s glowing happiness.


	5. A Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck realizes his feelings for Eddie. He realizes that maybe he missed his shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very sorry for not posting sooner. My nice outline didn't help with writers block and everything I wrote was just bad. Then, before I knew it, classes had started and I moved into my dorm and well I've been busy since. The last chapter will be posted soon, unless I procrastinate. (I did however get an A in my finance class over the summer, so small victories). The last chapter may be a tad bit smutty but not really. My aim is for a more intimate scene, but who knows what will happen.

The rest of the night goes on without a hitch. Everyone is too caught up in the happiness radiating from Chimney and Maddie to care about anything else. They stay at the table enjoying drinks and telling funny childhood stories late into the night. It’s not until Athena and Bobby announce their departure that the night begins to wind down.

Through it all, Buck remained overjoyed with thoughts of the future. After spending most of the night drinking, his bladder finally protests. 

He quickly leaves the table and goes to the bathroom. On his way back he notices that Bobby and Athena are not the only people missing.Chim, Maddie, and Hen are the only ones left at the table. Eddie and Josh are nowhere in sight.

Buck takes a moment to look around but doesn’t spot them. His stomach drops. The feeling from earlier that night is back, and all he can think of is finding Eddie.

“Hey,” He calls out to Maddie. “Where’d Eddie go?”

She giggles too caught up in blissful happiness to notice how tense Buck looks.

“Hmm,” She looks around only now noticing the absent space next to her. “I think they left.”

“Probably outside making out,” Chim points out. 

“Yup,” Hen adds on. “Good for Eddie.”

“I gotta go.” The words fly out of Buck's mouth as he grabs his phone off the table and makes a break towards the exit. Behind him, confused goodbyes echo, but all he can think about is making it outside.

Buck throws the doors open and steps outside. A cool breeze seeps into his skin sobering him up as he cranes his head left then right hoping to spot Eddie and Josh. In the distance, he makes out two bodies walking close together. Before Buck can even process whether it’s them or not, his feet move. They launch him forwards with no plan.

As he gets closer, he can hear bits of their conversation. 

“So, Wednesday night?” Josh questioned while leaning into Eddie’s side.

“Yeah,” Eddie replied scratching his head nervously.

Buck watched as Eddie leaned back into Josh and smiled.

“It’s a date.” 

The words feel heavy in his chest. He can’t place the feeling, but he just doesn’t think it’s a good idea. From what Maddie says, Josh is a great guy, but what do they really know about him. And above all, what does he expect will happen. Eddie has a kid, and as far as Buck knows, Josh doesn’t know that. 

Eddie deserves someone who will value Chris just as much as him if not more. He also knows that Eddie doesn’t do casual, so if Josh is just looking for a quick fling, he needs to look elsewhere.

All these thoughts and emotions race in Buck’s mind and distract him. He doesn’t register that Josh has already walked away and that Eddie is looking at him.

“Hey, Buck. Heading home?” Eddie asks with a smile.

“Yeah,” Buck manages to grunt out.

He notices that Eddie’s cheeks are still flushed from speaking with Josh. He doesn’t like it. Eddie should be more careful. One good night isn’t enough to deserve a date. He is curious though about what this means.

“Sooo…,” Buck draws out, “you and Josh.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow in response, mostly curious about Buck’s line of questioning. He says nothing though and instead begins to walk towards a bench outside the bar. Buck follows.

The silence lingers until Eddie finally speaks as they take a seat on the bench.

“It’s probably nothing, but Josh is a good guy.”

Relief fills Buck as he hears Eddie’s response. He feels just a little guilty for feeling happy knowing that Eddie isn’t hopeful of their outcome.

They continue to sit enjoying each other’s presence. The cool breeze slowly pulls their minds away from the lingering buzz of the alcohol. 

The quiet allows Buck to think. 

He realizes that he never really talked to Eddie about his sexuality. In a sense, he had essentially come out to Buck and the team when he confessed his feelings. They usually talked about most things, and he wanted to make sure Eddie was ok or at least better with how everything went down. He didn’t know how to approach the topic, so he decided to do what he did best, and dive in headfirst.

“You don’t have to say anything, Eddie, but I guess I never knew you were into guys.”

Buck analyzes Eddie’s reaction, but for the most part, he looks unbothered by his statement.

“Well,” Eddie starts, “there’s not much to it. You could say I came out in high school as Bi and that’s pretty much it. Nothing special about it.”

Now that Buck had managed to get Eddie to speak, he wanted to hear more. Most importantly, he wanted Eddie to know that he could trust him.

“Have you ever dated any guys?”

The question seemed to throw Eddie off guard, and he shifted in his seat. He looked like he was trying to find the right words to say or perhaps was reliving some distant memories.

“I dated one or two guys in high school. A few hookups with girls and guys, but nothing serious until Shannon. It’s been only her ever since.”

Buck continued to watch Eddie as his eyes remained fixed in front of him. Eddie didn’t talk much about Shannon and he could tell that bringing her up now was an improvement. And judging from the slight frown on Eddie’s lips, the loss was still fresh.

He didn’t want Eddie to get lost in thought and start spiraling, so he scooted over until they were plastered next one another; thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder. For good measure, he leaned over and bumped against Eddie until a smile replaced his frown. 

The heat coming from the closeness felt nice and a pool of warmth gathered in Buck’s stomach; He didn’t want it to end. Eddie was still looking forwards, so Buck continued to nudge until Eddie turned to look at him still smiling. Once their eyes met, Buck couldn’t help but notice that he had missed Eddie’s smile. The last month was kind of a shit show and having Eddie this close again felt good. 

“Thanks for sharing,” Buck spoke softly keeping his eyes on Eddies’. 

Sitting this close and having Eddie’s full attention was a bit unnerving. Eddie’s tongue quickly exited his mouth and wet his lips, and Buck’s eyes followed. He thought of the night Eddie told him how he felt, and the way Eddie had leaned in. If he wanted to, he could find out how Eddie’s --. _NO_ , he shook the feeling away and turned away from Eddie’s gaze.

He really hoped that the night sky was dark enough to cover the crimson flush spreading from his face down to his chest. He had never thought about anything like that before. It was unsettling.

“Buck.” Eddie’s soft words broke him from his thoughts. “Do you wanna come over Tuesday night? We haven’t had a good bro night in a while.”

“Of course,” Buck answered immediately. He didn’t have to even think about it. Spending time with Eddie was always great.

“Alright, Let’s go with the usual. Pizza and a couple of beers.”

The thought of hanging out with Eddie made him feel excited. His weird thoughts and feelings were forgotten and instead replaced by the imminent hangout. It’d been a while since it was just the two of them relaxing. Chris was always fun to be around, but nights alone with Eddie were hard to come by, and without Chris, Eddie’s personality beyond super Dad emerged; it was a sight to see.

+++

(Wednesday AKA Eddie’s date)

Buck worked his way around the station in a flurry of bouncing energy. He was still running off a high from his and Eddie’s hang out the night before. 

It was eventful in that they shared laughs and enjoyed each other’s company. 

They stayed up most of the night slowly drinking beer and devouring two large pizzas. A few different movies were watched each one, thankfully, not targeted for kids. And a few rounds of Mario Cart were played in where Buck or may not have whined after being completely destroyed by Eddie every round. (“Eddie, stop laughing and stop trying to let me win. It only pisses me off more.”) 

It was a good night and much needed. Even though Buck had a slight headache from too many drinks and his back was just a tad bit sore from crashing on Eddie’s couch, he felt happier than he had in a while. 

They were finally bouncing back, and now it was smooth sailing.

Buck’s only concern was his feelings which he refused to address. They must’ve been a fluke. A night of drinking was probably the reason he felt so weird. It was a reasonable explanation for how or why he suddenly took interest in how Eddie’s lips sometimes looked soft. It could also explain why every time Eddie’s mouth turned into a smile his heart would beat just a bit faster. And if he had the urge to sit a little closer to Eddie or just be around him at all times, it was no one’s business. 

He had completely forgotten about Eddie’s date until he rounded a corner of the station and lost his train of thought as Josh strolled in.

“Josh,” Buck called out. “What’s up, man?”

He looked a little nervous and was looking around looking for someone or something.

“Can I help you with something?”

“Yeah,” Josh answered still looking around. “Just looking for Eddie. Do you know where he’s at?”

Suddenly the reason for him being there became clear, and Buck felt almost compelled to say “No.” Before he could answer, Josh looked past him and smiled brightly at someone. Buck turned just in time to see Eddie approaching with a smile matching Josh. 

He strolled up to Josh and Buck exuding pure confidence.

“Hey, what’re you doing here? Date’s not until tonight.”

Eddie stepped a little closer to Josh and shot him a cheeky grin.

“Just wanted to see me, huh?” He smirked as a faint blush appeared on Josh’s face. He squirmed for a bit before answering.

“I was passing by and I just wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.”

Buck stood back and stared at both of them. It was like they had completely forgotten he was standing there. He couldn’t help but feel annoyed at being forgotten.

As Buck looked on, Josh took a couple steps back before surging forwards. He quickly placed a kiss to Eddie’s cheek before practically running out yelling, “See you tonight!!!”

Eddie’s entire face burned red. A hand rose to cup the cheek that was kissed and his eyes traced Josh’s escape. A dopey smile formed as he wandered further into the station. The only one left in the room was forgotten and stunned Buck.

Buck’s head was reeling from what he had just witnessed. Not only was he forgotten, which was rude, but Josh had kissed Eddie. 

It wasn’t right. Maybe Eddie didn’t have a problem with it, but he could have at least asked before doing it. What kind of guy just suddenly kisses someone without consent?

If anyone was going to kiss Eddie or go on a date with him, it should be someone who actually cares about him. 

Someone who takes the time to be there for him and support him. Someone who understands that no matter what, Chris is Eddie’s #1. Someone like him, like Buck.

Everything was so confusing. 

Buck wasn’t sure what he wanted. 

All he was sure about was that every time he saw Josh and Eddie together, he wanted to get in between them. 

And every time Eddie smiled, he wanted to be the reason why he was smiling or at the very least on the receiving end of every smile. He just wanted Eddie to look at him always. He just wanted Eddie.

Woah, wasn’t that a realization.

When did he start feeling like this? When did he start wanting Eddie?

Questions popped into Bucks’ mind one by one. Each one trying to narrow down his feelings, but to no avail. He felt more confused and overwhelmed. Then again, how could he be calm when he was experiencing a sexuality crisis and realizing that maybe he liked Eddie in a more than platonic way.

He needed help. He needed Someone who could possibly make sense of his revelations or at least push him in the right direction.

As Buck continued his mental spiral, He looked over and saw Hen making her way around the station. She had helped Eddie when Buck couldn’t and maybe she could help figure himself out.

+++

It was Thursday morning when Buck arrived at Hen’s place. 

He needed someone to help him make sense of the jumble of feelings that were erupting in his head. Also, it didn’t help that the only other thing that he could think of was Eddie’s date.

Eddie had texted him that morning but Buck had ignored it. He didn’t want to hear about how great the date went. Most of all, he didn’t want to imagine Eddie and Josh together. 

It wasn’t fair that the moment he realized he might like Eddie, he had moved on. The thoughts continued to plague him, but he shook them off and jumped out of his jeep and walked towards Hen’s door.

Buck knew Hen didn’t work today and that Karen and their son were out of town for the week visiting family. 

He wanted to text Hen to give a heads up, but every time he tried to write the words down, he couldn’t think of what to say. In the end, he just hoped she wasn’t busy and willing to hear him out.

He knocked on the door and waited patiently for Hen to answer. After a few seconds, the door swung open and Hen stood in front of him, eyebrows raised and lips pursed. 

“Buck,” she spoke, “What are you doing here?” 

The truth was that he wasn’t really sure what he was doing. He wanted guidance but he didn’t know what he was specifically looking for. He just needed a friend to listen without judgment.

“I-I…think I might be in love with Eddie.”

Buck had not allowed himself to think about the possibility of being in love with Eddie, but the words slipped put on their own, and they felt honest. He knew what he felt went beyond attraction, and he knew that lust wasn’t a driving factor. Love. 

That was what he was feeling and what he wanted in return.

Hen looked at Buck for a couple more seconds before stepping aside and ushering him in. As he passed by her, he didn’t see her shake her head in slight amusement.

As Buck continued to walk inside, Hen called out to him, “Go sit, I’ll be back in few.” She walked further into the house and disappeared into a room.

It was eerily quiet and the silence only made Buck more anxious. He looked at the door thought about making a run for it. He could leave know and pretend this didn’t happen. Maybe if he kept it to himself, maybe his feelings would eventually dissipate. Before he could act upon his urge to run, he heard a loud cheer.

“I knew it!!! I fucking called it!!”

He could hear Hen’s celebratory muffled shouts and it strangely set him at ease. She did call it. They all saw it before he could. All of the countless teasings made sense now. He was just oblivious to what was right in front of him.

A minute or two later, Hen emerged with a sheepish smile. Buck looked at her and gave a knowing glance. She wasn’t exactly quiet.

“Sooo,” Hen began, drawing out the ‘O.’ “You realized you might be in love with Eddie.”

“I don’t think I’m in love. I know that I am.”

“What makes you so sure?” she questioned. “What made you realize you Eddie was the one for you?”

Buck hesitated. He wasn’t sure how to explain that it took another person taking interest in Eddie for him to finally get his head out of his ass. 

God, was he really that dense.

“Eddie is dating Josh and I didn’t understand why I didn’t like it. I know I’m not homophobic but seeing them together just made me angry and upset. I thought about it and realized that I wanted Eddie. I wanted to be the one to kiss him. I was jealous. And when I saw Josh kiss Eddie, I wanted to be him. I wanted to know what kissing Eddie felt like.”

Hen nodded along to Buck’s monologue and waited until he finished speaking.

“And it’s more than just jealousy or some spur of the moment attraction. When I think of Eddie I don’t just want him, I want Chris too. When I’m with them, I feel like part of something. They’re the family I always wanted. I knew I loved them, but it just took me a while longer to figure out how much I loved Eddie.”

“Look Buck, I understand that you’re just now realizing that you want more from Eddie. And you’re confused about what to do with all these new feelings. However, one thing you have to understand is that you may have missed your shot. And that sucks because I think you guys would make an incredible couple. I think your heart knew what it wanted before your head caught up, and now Eddie is moving on. You have to respect that.”

Hearing Hen’s words sent a cold sensation through Buck’s body. She was right of course. Eddie had built up the courage and laid his heart out for Buck. He had confessed his feelings, but Buck had rejected him. And now, Eddie was moving on with his life; moving on from being love with Buck. As much as he wanted to go to him now, it wouldn’t be fair to Eddie to come between Josh and him. He had to make peace with perhaps being too late.

Buck hung his head in misery. It was unreal to know that he had missed his shot at happiness.

“Buck, it’ll be okay. You just gotta hope that things will work out. Whether that means you and Eddie will become a couple or he stays with Josh, I’ll be here for you, and I know the rest of the 118 will too. You’re not alone.”

Buck turned and gave her the best reassuring smile he could muster. 

“Thanks, Hen. I appreciate the advice.”

“Anytime Buck,” she muttered while pulling Buck into a hug.

“Ok,” Buck wheezed out from the crushing hug. “I have a few things to do today, but I’ll keep in touch.”

With that, Buck left after a brief goodbye.

Hen sank into her couch thinking about the two idiots in her life.

“Men,” she whispered to herself, “thank god I like girls.”


	6. Be MIne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie invite Buck to figure out why he has been acting weird. They talk and some feelings are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished. I'm sorry it took so long, but I love to procrastinate and I've been busy with my last year at college. I went for an intimate scene at the end, but I've been told I write like a dictionary so it may not be the best. This was fun overall, and thank y'all for reading.

For Eddie, the past week and a half had been unusual, to say the least. He had his date with Josh Wednesday night. And as much as he wanted to be the right person for Josh, all he could think of was Buck. Josh was a great guy; he was compassionate, funny, and sassy but he still wasn’t Buck. 

He felt guilty that throughout the whole date, all he could think of was how much Buck would enjoy the food. Then when Josh had asked about Chris, Eddie went down a rabbit hole of fond memories that included Buck. Halfway through the date, Josh had easily figured out that Eddie was still madly in love with his best friend, so they decided that a friendship would be the best outcome.

Even stranger, however, was how distant Buck had been. 

It’d been over a week since his date with Josh and Chris was due back from his two weeks at summer camp Sunday afternoon. Thus, Eddie had decided to invite Buck over that Saturday night for some Bro time to figure what was wrong. 

Funny enough, the only reason Eddie was in a good mood despite Buck’s new behavior was because of Josh. He had quickly become one of Eddie’s closest friends. Since he knew how he felt about Buck, he would text him about it. It was freeing knowing that he had a friend unrelated to the 118 that he could talk to. They texted constantly; most of the time it was Josh sending Eddie funny pictures and videos that had him laughing and forgetting about how Buck was acting.

+++

It was almost 8pm when Eddie heard Buck’s car pull into the driveway. He felt an eerie sense of déjà vu and a similar nervousness to when he told Buck how he felt. It had been over a month ago, but it still felt like yesterday. Eddie could still feel the crushing weight of rejection when Buck pulled away from him and expressed how he only liked Eddie in a platonic way. 

It was a devastating truth that still hurt but was getting better.

Eddie would have liked to say he was over Buck, but that would be a lie. Every time he saw him, he still felt an invisible force pulling him closer to Buck. And a part of him was still hoping that one day Buck would reciprocate his feelings. 

It was pathetic, but Eddie just couldn’t move on from arguably the most important person to him besides Christopher.

Midway through his thoughts, a hesitant knock rang through the house. Eddie quirked an eyebrow in response and then walked to the door to open it. Buck knocking before entering only further cemented his odd behavior. He usually never knocked and if he did, it was just a courtesy knock before letting himself in.

“Buck,” Eddie smiled as he opened the door revealing a nervous-looking Buck. “You know you don’t have to knock. You’re welcome here anytime.”

Buck shifted back and forth before nodding and walking inside.

“Soo…” Buck drew out. “What’d you have in mind for tonight?”

“Well, just the usual. Since Chris comes back tomorrow, I figured we have one last night with just us.”

Eddie wanted Buck to relax and talking about Chris always did the trick. Almost instantly, Buck’s mood changed. A bright smile appeared at the mention of Chris. And just like that, Eddie remembered just why Buck was the best thing in his life. He had never met anyone who loved his son so fiercely. 

“How’s the little guy doing? Did he have fun? Is he happy or sad to be coming back? Wait, what time is he getting back? Should we really be drinking if he comes back tomorrow? You don’t wanna wake up late and miss the bus.”

Eddie couldn’t help but let out a laugh. God, going a day without hearing Buck ramble was a day wasted. He looked adorable while completely lost on worrying about Christopher.

“Buck,” Eddie reassured him, “Chris is fine. He’s glad to be coming back and he won’t be back until late afternoon, so calm down. Let’s just enjoy tonight.”

Buck’s face pinched into an uneasy scowl thinking Eddie’s words over. Seemingly ok with his answer, he relaxed his shoulders some and made his way to the couch. Eddie noticed how he still had tense air about him but decided to ignore it. 

First, he would try to get Buck to open up on his own, and if that didn’t happen, he would then try to take a more direct approach. All in all, he just wanted to find out what was going through Buck’s head.

+++

Two hours later as the clock struck 10pm, Eddie realized this was going nowhere.

They had decided to watch a movie while drinking a couple of beers, and somehow, Buck had found a way to stay mostly quiet the entire time. The whole ordeal felt awkward, but Eddie didn’t want to leave things the way they were.

What made it worse was that every time Eddie would pick up his phone to answer a text from Josh, he could hear Buck huff in annoyance. It wasn’t Eddie’s fault that he needed advice on what to do. He didn’t mean to be rude, but Buck was giving him nothing.

The lack of communication and every indignant huff of air coming from Buck finally broke Eddie. He was beyond frustrated and he was doing his best to be patient, but there was only so much he could take.

“Okay,” Eddie spoke flatly. 

“Are we gonna talk? Or are you gonna pretend everything is ok? Because something is clearly wrong.”

Buck bowed his head and refused to meet Eddie’s gaze.

“Nothing’s wrong, Eddie. I just have a few things going on. Don’t worry, I’ll try to get over it.”

As he ended his sentence, he sprang to his feet and tried to make a quick exit. Eddie, however, had other plans.

Eddie moved faster than Buck could and reached for his hand and stopped him in his tracks. He held on tight. Tonight, they were going to hash things out once and for all.

“Nuh-uh. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s up.”

Eddie pulled Buck’s hand urging him to look at him.

“I thought we were good, Buck. After everything, I thought things were on their way to going back to normal, but now I’m more confused.”

Buck turned towards Eddie but continued to stare at the ground and occasionally trying to pull his hand away until Eddie reluctantly let go but stayed close.

“C’mon, Buck. You won’t even look at me. Please just tell me what I did wrong.”

“It’s not you, Eddie. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Please,” Eddie spoke in a quiet and desperate voice. “I don’t wanna lose you too.”

“Eds, you’re not gon-.”

“But I am,” Eddie interrupted. “We both know what it feels like to be left alone. To feel like we weren’t enough. Whatever’s going on, we can work it out. Please, trust me.”

+++

Hearing Eddie’s words, Buck wanted to speak and tell him everything that he was feeling. Every fiber of his being wanted to reach over and just hold Eddie close. He wanted to kiss the pleading words away and assure him that he’d never leave him. 

Not even if he wanted to. Eddie meant too much to him. Without him, the world was a desolate place. Eddie in all his essence was a shining light illuminating his life into technicolor bliss.

But things aren’t so easy. 

And from his experience, life is cruel. 

Eddie belongs to another, and Buck won’t ruin that; he won’t place the burden of his affection on Eddie. 

“I do, Eddie. I trust you more than anyone, but…” He hesitated. 

“Just leave it, okay. I’ll be back to normal before you know it.” Buck’s own words felt empty as they exited his mouth. And clearly, from the frown on Eddie’s face, he could feel the lack of conviction in Buck’s words.

“No, I won’t leave it. I know you wouldn’t. You would ask over and over again and deliver your best puppy-dog eyes until I finally caved and told you what was wrong. So, you won’t get rid of me that easy. I can help, just tell me what’s wrong.”

Before Buck could speak, a familiar ding broke the tension. Eddie hesitated then reached for his phone and a wave of annoyance filled Buck. Of course, Josh would pick this exact moment to interrupt. 

As much as he hoped to act mature, Buck was only human. He crossed his arms and slightly pouted. The more time Eddie spent reading the text and typing his response, the more annoyed Buck became. He tried to reign in an unimpressed sigh but from the way Eddie turned to look at him, he had failed miserably.

Buck watched as Eddie looked at his phone then back at Buck. He tilted his head slightly and squinted while looking at Buck as though trying to solve a problem. After a few seconds of Eddie shooting him questionable looks, his eyes widened in realization.

“It’s Josh isn’t it?” Eddie asked. 

Buck opened his mouth to deny it, but Eddie continued.

“Every time I text him, you get upset. And ever since we went out on our date, you’ve been acting strange.”

“Eddie, I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

“Buck, you don’t have to worry about Josh. You’re still my best friend. He’s not replacing you.”

Buck groaned in frustration. 

Almost. Eddie almost had the answer. He was so close to solving why Buck was being standoffish. It would be easier if Eddie had figured it out, then Buck wouldn’t have to say it. 

“That’s not it, Eds.”

Eddie put his hands on his hips and offered a defiant look. It was like he was challenging Buck to either accept his conclusion or come out with the truth.

“It sure seems that way. Look, no one in this world could replace you, Buck.”

“Eddie.”

“It’s ok, no matter how close Josh and I get, you’ll still be part of mine and Christopher’s life.”

Buck sighed and made his way back to the couch and sunk into it. Even if Eddie didn’t know how Buck felt, his words still applied. They were reassuring, and exactly what he needed to hear. 

He wanted Eddie and Chris, the whole package, but he could settle for just being a part of their lives.

Eddie made his way back to the couch and sat close to Buck. Their thighs brushed and Buck turned to take a closer look at Eddie. He was rewarded with a small smile; it was bittersweet. 

“Alright, just don’t think you have to include me in everything. I don’t want to third-wheel. Just make sure Chris is there so I can at least have someone to talk to while you and Josh swap spit or whatever.”

“What are you talking about?” Eddie asked voice filled with confusion.

“Y’know, I don’t like third-wheeling so just keep that in mind.”

“Buck, me and Josh aren’t together. We’re just friends.”

Buck shook his head in denial. NO way this was real. If Eddie and Josh weren’t together then maybe Buck still had a chance. 

“But you went on a date. And you guys text all the time.”

Eddie nodded in agreement. 

“We did but we’re better off as friends. And I wouldn’t text him so much if you would stop avoiding me.”

Buck expected to see an annoyed Eddie, but instead, he was met with a fond look. Eddie looked at him like he was worth something; he always did. 

Thinking back to his past relationships, Buck realized no one had ever really looked at him; the real him. Abby had come close, but she never really understood him on such a profound level. But Eddie knew him; he knew his insecurities, what kind of ice cream he loved, and even things about his childhood he had never told anyone else. Eddie was his person.

If only he could have put two and two together sooner. _Screw it_ , Buck thought. Eddie was right there. He was single, and he had wasted enough time. It was now or never, and Buck didn’t want to leave tonight with Eddie not knowing that if he still wanted Buck, he had him.

“I was jealous,” Buck tumbled out.

“Of Josh?”

“Yeah, I thought you and he were together.”

“I don’t understand. 

Buck, you said…you said you didn’t…”

Buck took a deep breath and persevered. “I know what I said, but I didn’t understand how I felt until I saw you two together. Eddie, it killed me thinking that you were with someone else. I’m sorry I hurt you, Eddie. You don’t owe me anything. I just want you to know how I feel. I love you, Eddie.”

Eddie’s eyes widened in surprise until the reality of the situation brought him back to his senses. 

Buck felt Eddie hesitantly reach forward and caress his cheek. He leaned in slightly and Buck followed. 

“Are you su-”

The words were cut off by Buck rushing forward. Why use words when he could show Eddie that this was the surest he had ever been in his life.

The kiss was incredible. 

Eddie’s lips were soft and slightly chapped. It was like everything made sense. This was the moment they were working their way towards and God did it feel otherworldly. 

Buck didn’t want to stop kissing him, but the need for air won out.

Buck pulled back slightly and rested his head against Eddies’. He could feel Eddie’s breath on his lips; it still felt unreal. A smile spread across his face and a giggle emerged. 

“I’m sorry I made you wait,” Buck whispered into Eddie’s mouth as he dived in for another kiss. 

Eddie groaned in response and wrapped his arms tightly around Buck's head. Buck worked his hands down Eddie’s body until they reached his waist. He held on tight and enjoyed the feel of strong hard muscle.

“Please tell me this isn’t a dream,” Eddie gasped out in between kisses.

“I sure hope it’s not,” Buck replied.

They kissed over and over for what seemed like an eternity. Everything was new and shiny to Buck. He had never been with another man, but it felt right to have Eddie like this. 

The new sensations were almost overwhelming as Eddie pushed Buck back and settled himself on top of Buck in between his legs.

Buck would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying what was happening especially when Eddie showed just how strong he was by manhandling him, but nerves quickly took over. Eddie had experience and it showed, and it was both comforting and off-putting. He didn’t want to disappoint Eddie.

He scrunched his eyes closed and willed the nerves and thoughts away. He trusted Eddie, and he knew Eddie would never hurt him.

“Buck?” Eddie whispered. 

“Are you ok?”

Buck wasn’t sure how long he had closed his eyes for, but it was long enough for Eddie to get off him and squat down next to him. 

“I’m okay, Eddie. Just a little overwhelmed.”

Eddie studied him for a second before placing a soft kiss on Buck’s forehead and running his hand through unruly curls. The feel of Eddie’s soft lips sent warmth down his body. It was almost strange how well Eddie knew him. He always seemed to know exactly how to make Buck feel loved and safe.

Eddie leaned forwards again and left small kisses across everywhere he could reach making Buck giggle. “Let’s call it a night,” he whispered while getting back up and offering his hand out. 

Buck took it and let Eddie lead him to his room.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” Eddie spoke while gathering some clothes and tossing them at Buck. “Here, you can change into these.”

Buck nodded and dressed as Eddie slipped into the bathroom.

While he waited for Eddie to finish, he laid down on the bed and closed his eyes. He thought of everything that had just happened. Eddie loved him and that in itself was incredible. 

For once, everything felt like it was going right. For a while, it seemed like the universe was punishing him. From the explosion that took him out of the game to the lawsuit that almost ruined everything, it was constant challenge after challenge. But maybe it was all worth it because every tragedy had brought him to this exact moment. And all the times he wished he could go back and change everything seemed meaningless now. 

He was on the verge of having it all. 

The family he had always dreamed about was becoming a reality.

The sound of the shower turning off brought Buck back to the present. Soon enough, Eddie came out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. His tan skin had a slight red flush from the heat of the water, and small droplets ran down his chest and back leaving streaks of wetness on hard muscle. 

Buck’s mouth went dry at the sight and hands itched with the need to touch. He racked his eyes up and down Eddie’s body appreciating it. 

Unaware of Buck’s newfound hobby, Eddie made his way to his dresser and grabbed a pair of underwear and slipped them on without dropping the towel trying to be considerate of Buck in the room. Buck continued to watch until reason gave him a solution.

Eddie was his. And as far as Buck was concerned, he would never love anyone as much as he loved Eddie. And the perks of being in a relationship with his best friend meant that maybe he could do more than just watch. And sure, maybe he had felt overwhelmed before, but a bit of innocent touching couldn’t hurt.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Buck was on his feet and plastered against Eddie’s back. 

Eddie froze for a second before leaning back onto Buck’s chest. During the process, the towel dropped leaving him in only a pair of black briefs.

Buck slowly moved his hands down Eddie’s naked torso and wrapped them around his waist pulling him closer. He couldn’t help but notice how well they fit together. Like they were always supposed to end up here, a puzzle finally complete. 

Eddie rested his neck on the younger man’s shoulder leaving his throat exposed. Buck didn’t think twice and dove in leaving gentle kisses everywhere he could reach. His hands began to roam touching everything in sight. 

Eddie’s groaned softly as Buck continued his onslaught. His breath became ragged with Buck’s hands wandering over his sensitive skin.

Buck continued to explore Eddie taking in every sound made. Eddie reacted beautifully to every sensation. Buck’s new favorite thing was making Eddie breathe in sharply every time his hands gripped Eddie’s pecs and gave a good squeeze. 

Buck’s hand eventually went further down and came across the soft underwear. His hands ghosted over the fabric. He took in the way Eddie’s body was so different than any woman he had been with. He wasn’t soft but firm and steady. They paled in comparison. His hips were mouthwatering; a part of Buck wanted to get down on his knees and mark them, but he loved the way Eddie was resting against him completely vulnerable and trusting.

Buck followed Eddie’s happy trail to the waistband of the briefs and slipped the tips of his fingers underneath.

“Eddie, can I?” Buck asked softly for permission to go further.

Eddie turned to meet Buck’s eyes and smiled. “Yeah, go ahead. Just don’t stop kissing me.”

Buck didn’t have to be told twice. Kissing Eddie would never grow old.

As they kissed, Buck took the opportunity to tug at Eddie’s underwear until it fell down to his ankles. 

Buck bent his legs a bit to reach lower and feel Eddie’s thick thighs; unlike any past partners, Eddie was covered in dark coarse hair and his legs were no exception. A thrill of excitement rushed all across Buck’s body at the thought of spending hours worshipping and taking Eddie apart.

Buck moved from thighs to the swell of Eddie’s ass. Even before he realized how he felt about Eddie, he had to admit that sometimes he would catch himself ogling Eddie’s backside. The 118’s snug uniform made Eddie’s look impossibly round and perfect and now it was with his reach. 

Buck ghosted over the two globes of muscles until he let himself have it. He took two handfuls and squeezed. Eddie let out a filthy groan that Buck gladly swallowed. This was literal heaven, and he was ruined. There was no going back from Eddie especially know that he had a taste.

Minutes or maybe hours went by until Buck finally let go of Eddie’s ass and came across the dark trail of hair leading down to Eddie’s pubes. Buck tentatively followed but stopped. 

What he had done today felt like enough and going further would be pushing it. He wasn’t sure if tonight was the night he wanted to go all the way. 

Exploring and learning Eddie’s body was life-changing, but he didn’t want to have another freak-out.

As if reading Buck’s mind, Eddie reached down and took Buck’s hands in his and gave a reassuring squeeze and stepped away from him. After putting on his underwear and some shorts, he motioned Buck to the bed.

Buck laid in the bed and watched as Eddie turned off the lights and then joined him. He wasn’t sure how they were gonna sleep, but Eddie took care of it. He reached forward and moved Buck until he was settled against his chest.

Buck nuzzled against Eddie’s bare chest and placed a soft kiss there while Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck tightly.

Even this was new to Buck. 

Since he was a big guy, he was always the one taking care of his partners; he was the provider. It felt good being taken care of. He felt safe in Eddie’s arms and the steady rhythm of his heart began to lull Buck to sleep.

Eddie leaned forward and nosed Buck’s temple. “We have to pick Chris up around 4 pm.”

“mmhmm,” Buck managed to respond.

Eddie chuckled. “Goodnight, Evan. I love you.”

Buck was half-asleep but lucid enough to hear Eddie. 

“I love you too, Eddie. G’night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few ideas on what to write next, but nothing concreate yet. I will probably write a sterek fic, so look out for that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. If you have any suggestions just let know.


End file.
